When it happened
What it was about
How it was solved
How you felt about it?
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Arguments are a very common part of life.
But I think most arguments can still be avoided.
Recently, India faced the second coronavirus wave.
As the numbers were rising, my friends and I were discussing whether a lockdown should be imposed.
One of my friends, Ravi believed that a stringent lockdown was the only solution to bring down the cases.
He was very adamant that lockdown should be imposed without any delay.
However, one of my other friends, Vishal believed that lockdowns don’t help.
He said that lockdowns lead to huge loss to the economy and under no circumstances governments should go for a lockdown or a curfew.
At first, it started out in a very calm manner.
We were all discussing the issue, but eventually only they were the ones talking and we just sat there listening.
They both started with facts and counters.
As the argument continued, both of their voices went up.
We told them to calm down, but at this point, they were so engrossed that they didn’t listen.
Eventually, they came down to personal attacks rather than talking about the need for a lockdown.
Actually later we came to know that Ravi had lost his uncle due to coronavirus and he sincerely believed that he could have been saved if the government had announced a lockdown.
Vishal was adamant because his family had suffered huge losses in the last lockdown. They had been both affected by the issue personally and that’s why they were so emotional about it.
In the end, we told them that their discussion would not have any impact on the matter so it was a moot point arguing about it.
But, on that day, I also thought that it would be a very difficult decision for the government to take.
The real end to the argument when the cases rose sharply and eventually the government was forced to impose a lockdown.
#1. Do you think arguments are important?
Yes, arguments are definitely important because they make us know about the other side of the issues. Arguments happen when we are adamant about something but at the same time, we fail to understand the other side. When we argue we learn about what others think.
#2. What do family members generally argue about?
I think arguments happened over small issues like what should be made for dinner or what movie should be watched to big issues like how children should be raised, how should money be spent, marriage decisions, and so on. In case, there is a family business there may also be arguments on how the business should be run. In the end, family members can argue over anything and everything.
#3. Is it easier for you to have arguments with your friends or your family members?
I think it’s easier for me to have arguments with friends because after having the argument I get the time and space to think about the issue. So, after thinking about it I generally apologise if I think I am wrong or I just apologise for arguing even if I feel I am right. This ends the issue. On the other hand, with family, I don’t get the space. So, sometimes the arguments continue for days.
#4. Do you think people should change the way they think when they have arguments?
I think arguments happen because of two main reasons. Firstly, people are unable to control their emotions and they say things they wouldn’t normally. Secondly, they happen because people have very strong opinions about something. So, I think instead of proving oneself right, people should definitely try to listen to other’s point of view in arguments.
#5. If two people argue, do you think a third person should be involved in the settlement?
Yes, I think a third person can bring in the much needed objectivity because the people involved in the argument become emotional about the issue. Sometimes a third person’s involvement can bring a quick resolution, otherwise arguments can go on for days.
#6. Why do you think people are stubborn and unwilling to change?
I think people are egoistic and they feel that they will lose if they listen to the other person. Moreover, they come to believe or practice something because of their past experiences and that’s why they are emotionally involved with the issue.
#7. Do you think you are stubborn?
Yes, I think it’s one of my big drawbacks. I have very strong opinions about certain things and that’s why I am stubborn. However, I am trying to change this part about me and listen more to others.
#8. Will you be willing to change?
Yes, as I said before I am trying to change but it is harder done than said. It would take time but it is definitely possible